NOTICE, there needs to be a lot of whiskey for this one.
Every time any of these things happen while traveling, take a swig. Props if you manage to get on the plane1.
- It is a 6 A.M. flight.
- Better yet, it is a red-eye flight. Hooray!
- There is traffic to the airport.
- The taxi to the airport costs $100.
- There is a long line at check-in.
- You left your ID at home.
- There is a long line at security.
- Your carry-on is weighed.
- The flight is delayed.
- The flight is cancelled.
- You miss your flight.
- The agent has bumped you from your seat.
- You are sitting in a middle seat.
- The agent has bumped you from the flight.
- You miss your layover.
- There is no space in the overhead bin.
- You sit on the tarmac for 50 minutes.
- You hate tweet at the airline from the tarmac.
- The in-flight entertainment system is broken.
- The passenger behind you is b*tching about the seat reclining.
- Your boyfriend or girlfriend has just broken up with you mid-flight. Great timing?
- The bathroom is full, there are five people in line and there are six hours left in the flight.
- Someone couldn't pee correctly in the bathroom.
- There is no free booze in sight.
- The passenger next to you goes free willy and takes off his shoes.
- You are trapped in between two of the biggest people you've ever seen in your life.
- That's the most terrible $10 roast beef sandwich you've ever had.
- You pay for the water.
- A nearby seatmate won't shut up or stop talking.
- Your phone just ran out of battery.
- And so did your iPad.
- And your laptop! BYE ENTERTAINMENT
- You need to barf and there's no barf bag in the seat back pocket.
- There is a screaming baby somewhere in the vicinity.
- Actually, the screaming baby is YOUR baby.
- The mobile boarding pass randomly disappears off your phone.
- Something is stolen from your luggage.
- Someone takes your bag by mistake.
- Your luggage is lost.
- There's nothing left but the clothes left on your back.
- You didn't buy insurance for this flight.
- There is a line for the taxi once you arrive.
- The taxi line takes you for a “drive around town.”
- You get to finally where you need to be.