It’s time to get rid of everything in the fridge, cause the last thing you want is some… funkier mushrooms.Even if all it is technically mold.
Though there are plenty of recipes that suck up leftovers, there is probably no better recipe than the calzone for the sole purpose of cleaning out the fridge for a huge, multi-week long trip when even the eggs won’t make it. It is the perfect vehicle for getting rid of all those random bits and ends, unless those happen to be kimchi and pickles. (In that case, pickled anything lasts forever.)
There’s also a myriad of reasons why calzones are perfect for traveling, even though there are many travel-friendly, mess-free foods out there. So let us count the ways.
One, they’re in an awesome form factor for running around, two, there’s very little active time (like 5 minutes! zero chopping!), three, there’s almost no dish cleanup, four, it uses up everything, and five, you can focus on cramming as much shit as you can into your suitcase while the calzone is baking.
Think of some of the options available here: veggie calzones, chicken tikka calzones, Seinfeld calzones, Taco Crunchwrap Supreme calzones. There is almost nothing to like here.
Starting with the pizza dough.
The essence of the calzone really starts with one thing: pizza dough. Can’t really have a calzone without it, and the best part is that pizza dough is SUPER SIMPLE to make.
Pizza dough is cheap, inexpensive and widely available at any grocery store, so in lieu of making it, it’s also possible to grab it off the shelf. The best part about pizza dough is that it freezes really, really well, so feel free to keep it around for future pizza emergencies. Regardless, it should cost around a dollar.
Otherwise, it’s easy enough to make ahead of time, though I recommend to make it at least one to three days in advance. If you’ve got yeast, make the dough. If you don’t, buy the dough.
The true genius of the recipe.
The active time for making the calzone, is like really five minutes, and there are almost no dishes to wash provided that the pizza dough was made or bought ahead of time. This also shortens down the prep work to almost zero.
Here’s a typical last-minute packing schedule that gives you time to sit on a suitcase and bake a calzone simultaneously. Heard of this thing called multitasking?
- Get up, make coffee and turn the oven on to 500°F (260°C). Take out the dough from the fridge.
- Put parchment paper on a rack (srsly, this is not the time to be pedantic about a pizza stone. No one cares.)
- Drink coffee while the oven preheats. Check WhatsApp, Instagram, followed by work email, in that order or not. Reply to anything that needs responding. Drink more coffee.
- Take out everything left in the fridge that runs the risk of spoiling. For even less work, put all the leftovers in one container the previous night.
- Roll out the dough into a circle. It should be slightly thick so it can hold the contents inside. Dump it on top of the parchment paper.
- Put the leftovers into one side of the circle, leaving about an inch around the exterior perimeter. Season it cause, um, this is the thing that makes it taste good.
- Fold the dough over in a half-moon shape, crimping the edges together.
- Brush some light olive oil over the top, and then make three slits in the top to prevent the calzone from bursting open during the baking phase. There’s a lot of steam action going on inside.
- Slide it into the oven for about 12 to 15 minutes.
- Go back into the bedroom, pack and dump belongings into suitcase.
- Remove calzone when finished, let cool for 10 minutes.
- Continue dumping things into suitcase.
- Once done, cover the calzone in aluminum foil or container. Throw away the parchment paper, and put the rack back in the oven. There should be almost nothing to wash, besides the container of leftover bits and ends.
- Let the paranoia wash over you, and check three times if you forgot anything.
- Eat on the plane or not. 🍕
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